Person Centred Care

‘Person centred care’ is a popular phrase across the board at the moment. It gets linguistically regurgitated by persons unaware of how wrong it really is. True, things can be tailored to suit you and you’re preferences. A depressed male who gravitates towards football may have leave, if deemed appropriate, to watch his local team play. An elderly lady with Bi-polar may get escorted leave to a theatre if that’s her thing.

To my understanding there is a kind of generic list that is built upon assumptions of professionals as to what us patients are in to, and they are all pro-social activities or experiences that seem to be mainstream and state run. Examples that make the multidisciplinary team cum in their undergarments when a patient, after overt arm bending and prompting, says that they would like to do, are

Sports-nothing to dared devilish though. Golf would be suitable.

Experiences and activities-Cinema, bowling, fishing, visiting farms, beaches, a random town to visit with your fellow dribblers. Museums, bootfairs, snooker, etc.

Education- adult education courses, open university, self help groups external from the unit.

Employment- usually voluntary work. This is the key. They do not want aimless schizophrenics. Boredom can lead back to troublesome behaviours, drug taking is the main one. Also isolation, depression etc. So what better than to fill our time with menial work. We will then feel valid, worthy. Personally I’d feel like a mug as I trimmed a hedge at a zoo for free.

These may be valid and interesting but there is still an aloof waft of control and tick boxing looming over the happy mental patient as he climbs into the unit vehicle with his ticket to see a Walt Disney show.

Walt Disney is a frozen nonce and the only thing that has been interesting for me is fixing my vehicles, that I without warning placed in the bike lock up. My trike, which I know the Doctor doesn’t like and my Goped that to be fair, I’m allowed out on but its a grey area.

I have trouble with grey areas. Everything is or it isn’t, I can or I can’t. I have black and white thinking, an all or nothing way about me, in every area of my life. I’ts always been that way I could give a hundred examples.

Going back to person centered care. If I were to go to the sports hall every Tuesday at 9am and stand on the treadmill, I’m sure that there would be a laminated sign Two foot in front of me with a half arsed selected typeface promoting the unit cafe’s offers. It would say

free coffee with every cookie…please come in, anyone come in. We need the numbers you docile cunts!

And I’ll stare at that for twenty minutes at a slow pace. Tick!.

Now if I were to walk in the woods unescorted, the tick is less visible and as faint as a line on a urine test result. Lightly marked in a pale crayon instead of a strong red biro. Because it’s unorthodox.

“Christ! there’s hidden dangers. This six foot two skinhead offender is vulnerable. He might get a twig in the eye!” They would say.
“Its odd, he might not be walking at all! He could be jacking up skag with a wizened ageing hobo under a rotten branch!”

This hobo who I would grow to admire would be a ‘antisocial peer’ and I would be forbidden to sit crossed legged and hear his melodic flute playing. After all I should be fucking walking!.

Basically they’re not in control when I’m in the woods and they don’t like it. After about six months of going up the woods I mentioned that I am actually with a mate or my family. The response was ‘Oh the team thought you were there on your own”

But even if I was, it sickens me that on my reports it probably says ‘isolates himself in woodland’ Cunts! I socialise away from the unit everyday and I’m rarely out on my own. I keep my friends and family separate from these nosey serfs.

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